Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Live Poker in Kenosha!?!?

My oh my, it has been awhile since a post. Let’s see, Sue went to visit her family down in Florida over her birthday until Nov. 30th. Taking care of all the critters while rushing to and fro from work was quite the chore.

Just before she left, I stumbled across a small Hold’em tourney that is held nightly here in Kenosha!! I’ve tried a couple of the night games, but they just run too late for me so I have become a Saturday/Sunday player. My point standing so far is pretty damn good, considering I only get to play three times a week (one of which I’m pretty much falling asleep about ½ way through). As of now, there is a pretty decent chance that I will make the December month final (held the first Friday in January). So that means that there is a slight chance for me to make the WSOP qualifier in March/April. It’s pretty much the top 144 players who will be in it, and as of now I am number 215. That gives me a boost of confidence, considering that points are accumulated from September to February, and I only just started playing the week of Thanksgiving. Sadly, there is not much time left to play this month. I missed both this past Sundays games due to the Buddha’s Enlightenment Ceremony, and Christmas Eve is on Saturday, and I usually spend that night with the family and then Sunday is Christmas Day. I’ll need to check and see if they plan on have a game at either location. That means I better make at least one final table this weekend or else!!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Not again!!

Been playin’ against some person who’s been pushing hard and often, but we’ve seen plenty of good cards from him. In fact, when I went all in against him with my 88 (my first pocket pair in over 128 hands), he showed us his third AA. Un-FUCKING real. Lucky me hits a set on the flop and doubles up! Nice breather for a change, there are some huge stacks at this table and the cards have not been hitting me for weeks.

My button cards have totally sucked as of late (as the rest of mine have). Plenty of 52o, 83o, J3o. And while I have see only one pocket pair in the last 128 hands, crap like the K3, Q4, and J2 will hit me about 1:10.

Let’s see, BB I had Q2, SB I have J2, now on the button…Q2s (with 4 BB to me—fold thank you, missed the flop, LP on the turn with a flush draw on board). I am 12 of 1 with 7 money.

Whoo hoo Jqo at a new table with a 6 BB bet to me from a frickin HUGE stack I have yet to see so I will get out of the way. Fold my 73o. 9To at CO-3 with 4 BB to me…fold. Now K4o to me at MP.  Q2o UTG (Q on the flop, perhaps I should have stuck around).
J4o BB Whoo hoo, doubled up on that one! Q5 SB, fold (woulda hit my 5). Now the HAMMER. Had to fold with 4 BB to me (we are now 100/200). Just got a 93o in CO.

Thanks to that last double, I’m now 8 of 13. Just got a Dolly Parton o at CO-2.JQo and they fucked me with a flipping straight draw. 22 in SB had to raise as the table is short. FUCK my set of 2’s just got busted by a set of 4’s!! Now down to 735 and all in with an A2. Up against KK, and oh my God, caught a set of 2’s!!

Just doubled again, now 8 of 11 and still in it!!
Seat 3: BillyNU480 (4640 in chips)
Seat 4: fhoots (6171 in chips)
Seat 6: Budohorseman (1906 in chips)
Seat 7: duggras (5204 in chips)
Seat 8: dragomiloff (10747 in chips)
Seat 9: LeftyAces (5664 in chips)
BillyNU480: posts small blind 100
fhoots: posts big blind 200
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Budohorseman [Js Ad]
Budohorseman: raises 200 to 400
duggras: folds
dragomiloff: calls 400
LeftyAces: calls 400
BillyNU480: folds
fhoots: calls 200
*** FLOP *** [4h Jd Qh]
fhoots: bets 200
Budohorseman: raises 400 to 600
dragomiloff: folds
LeftyAces: folds
fhoots: calls 400
*** TURN *** [4h Jd Qh] [Jh]
fhoots: checks
Budohorseman: bets 500
fhoots: calls 500
*** RIVER *** [4h Jd Qh Jh] [Qd]
fhoots: checks
Budohorseman: bets 406 and is all-in
duggras is sitting out
fhoots: calls 406
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Budohorseman: shows [Js Ad] (a full house, Jacks full of Queens)
fhoots: shows [Ks Th] (two pair, Queens and Jacks)
Budohorseman collected 4712 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 4712 | Rake 0
Board [4h Jd Qh Jh Qd]
Seat 3: BillyNU480 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 4: fhoots (big blind) showed [Ks Th] and lost with two pair, Queens and Jacks
Seat 6: Budohorseman showed [Js Ad] and won (4712) with a full house, Jacks full of Queens
Seat 7: duggras folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: dragomiloff folded on the Flop
Seat 9: LeftyAces (button) folded on the Flop

A5o button—fold (to the 6BB’s to me). 78o UTG with 3BB to me. QTs on the button. Fuck, that hurt!!

Now 3K in CO fold cause I’m crippled and it’s 2 seats to money…
But I would have had the flush, FUCK!!

Ato and shit on the flop, I hate wasting chips. 45o gotta remember I’m short stack and everyone will call me or raise me. J4o. Q7o UTG+1 and fold…and someone left the table…bubble time. 6To UTG—fold. J4o in the BB got it!! 64s in the SB and lost it. 23o on the button…fucking typical. Did I mention that I am now 8 of 8?

25o in the CO. Wouldda had a pair of 6’s and 4’s with the potential to be dominated by  J’s x’s and a flush…96o and fold. Christ, if I bet now everyone will fold to me…QQ!! Time to bubble out!! Up vs Jas, fuck flushed on the river. Rest of table gets money thanks to me (

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Government & Gambling

So what is it about our government and on-line gambling, or just gambling in general for that matter? Is it those old ties to mob? The stance against it is out dated and out of touch with what the people want.

For a majority of offshore gambling site (cards/slots/booking) most will claim about 50% of their business is from the US. We are also talking about 10’s to 100’s of millions of dollars as well. Perhaps today’s crooks politicians are upset because they are not getting a part of it?

They will say they are doing it to protect us from ourselves. After all, once you start, the typical American will be unable to prevent themselves from gambling away their rent/mortgage, car payments, retirement funds, or even, gasp, their taxes!!

So let’s see here, we have ten’s to hundreds of thousands of people in this county playing cards on-line every week, millions of visits to Vegas, Atlanta, etc every year and of course the government would love to go after those of us who play ‘illegally’ on-line. How’s that for representing the people!

It would be very sad if the only place left to legally gamble on-line in this country were the stock market. It too requires that mix of skill and luck that you find sitting at a poker table. There are swings up and down for both. Those that rely completely on luck typically find themselves running short on cash quickly and regularly. Those that have skill can consistently come away from the table with a healthy amount of cash. Those who have both know how to take advantage of when they are lucky and leverage their skill the rest of the time and walk away with huge stacks.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Death Penalty

Heard something very funny today. The number of people who are executed in this country is actually down a bit. Death penalty advocates are saying it is because more people fear this punishment than ever before. Those on the opposition say it’s because jurors have more option available to them. Personally, I’m more with the latter camp, because if you ask me, the advocates just really don’t have a clue.

The advocates assume that people actually think about the consequences of their actions before committing a crime. Those who actually plan out a crime before committing it work out how not to get caught; I really doubt the consequences of what will happen if they actually do get caught even cross their minds.

Let’s look at it this way, something like 85% plus of this country’s population claims to be Christian. The divorce rate in this country is about 50%ish. Divorce by the state is not annulment by the church; therefore nearly 50% of all Christians will be spending eternity in Hell for violating one of the commandments. And that does not even touch the all but .01% of them who will spend all of eternity suffering in the fiery pits of Hell for taking God’s name in vain!

The consequences of ones actions are usually not considered until you are facing those consequences. Once that happens, our attention will immediately shift away to justifying those actions or minimizing the impact by pleading to something lesser. Consequences be dammed.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Bad Beat at WWdN Invitational #5

Well, at the WWdN Invitational #5 I went out in a disappointing 61st. My stack was not the greatest, but I finally had the chance to double-up when the bad beat hit! Well, if you gotta bust out, this is the way to do it, tough to get faulted on it.

PokerStars Game #3033754036: Tournament #14856143, Hold'em No Limit - Level V (75/150) - 2005/11/11 - 20:06:57 (ET)Table '14856143 8'
Seat #4 is the button
Seat 1: rmd1023 (3898 in chips)
Seat 2: roughkat (2535 in chips)
Seat 3: mirven (2017 in chips)
Seat 4: OtterChaos (3925 in chips)
Seat 5: KurtReply (1610 in chips)
Seat 6: TripJax (1590 in chips)
Seat 7: April98 (510 in chips)
Seat 8: Budohorseman (1530 in chips)
Seat 9: torgeauxSA (2495 in chips)
KurtReply: posts small blind 75
TripJax: posts big blind 150
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Budohorseman [Js Td]
April98: folds
Budohorseman: calls 150
torgeauxSA: folds
rmd1023: folds
roughkat: calls 150
mirven: folds
OtterChaos: folds
KurtReply: folds
TripJax: checks
*** FLOP ***
[8c 9d Qd]
TripJax: checks
Budohorseman: bets 150
roughkat: raises 300 to 450
TripJax: folds
Budohorseman: raises 300 to 750
roughkat: raises 1635 to 2385 and is all-in
Budohorseman: calls 630 and is all-in
*** TURN ***
[8c 9d Qd] [Qh]
*** RIVER ***
[8c 9d Qd Qh] [4s]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Budohorseman: shows [Js Td] (a straight, Eight to Queen)
roughkat: shows [8s 8d] (a full house, Eights full of Queens)
roughkat collected 3285 from pot
Budohorseman [observer] said, "ouch"
roughkat said, "nh"
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 3285 | Rake 0
Board [8c 9d Qd Qh 4s]
Seat 1: rmd1023 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 2: roughkat showed [8s 8d] and won (3285) with a full house, Eights full of Queens
Seat 3: mirven folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: OtterChaos (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: KurtReply (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 6: TripJax (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 7: April98 folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: Budohorseman showed [Js Td] and lost with a straight, Eight to Queen
Seat 9: torgeauxSA folded before Flop (didn't bet)

A Republican Budget

Don’t you just love those Conservative Republicans? They are a bunch of really great people who care and can see clearly. To pay to rebuild the Gulf Coast they want to cut all public services that help the poor. After all, it was mostly the poor who got screwed so they should pay for it right?

In fact, let’s just give them a budget they can all truly appreciate. Let’s propose that for anyone making less than $125,000 a year they should pay a tax rate of 50%, after all, they are the only ones who use these tax programs, right? But since $125,000 isn’t really wealthy, but they are on their way, anyone between $125,000 and $500,000 will only need to pay 15%, that should help motivate them to put their money where it will do the most good, to help them make more money to make it to the next tax bracket.

For those in the $500,000 to $1,000,000 range, they will of course not pay any taxes. They need to keep that money pumping through the system, investing in companies, moving all of their technical jobs to India and China, manufacturing to Latin America etc. Once we finally get rid of this whole Tariff nonsense then the imports can really start rolling in, along with the additional profits!!

For those who break that $1,000,000 tax bracket, they will receive an additional 10% from the taxes collect from all the proletariats as part of a ‘spending initiative’ program. That will keep all that tax money from the good hard working Americans where it will do the most good.

Since it has been observed that all the children of wealthy Americans do so well in their private schools, we should remove the section of the tax code that allows the taxpayers to receive credits for their dependents and instead charge them for their dependents. This money can then be pumped directly into our Faith-based initiative program available through your specially screened and approved Evangelical School, while closing all public schools, saving us millions. For those who still can not afford the tuition, because school is still required by law, Community Services programs will be available where the entire family can work together for 15 hours every weekend mowing lawns along the highways, cleaning government building and approved corporate building etc.

As a bonus, all donations to the GoP will count double towards your tax bracket (except for the 50% bracket) and will count as taxes paid (if applicable). We just want to make sure you know how much we appreciate your support.

But until such time as we can put this all into affect, please rest assured that we will continue to reduce the tax burden on our most influential Americans and will continue to support corporate America as we relieve them of obligations of paying pensions, help reduce benefits to employees and increase employee contributions all so CEO’s and top-level executives can continue to be compensated at levels of 750 times that of their average worker, before their bonuses!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Boycotting Aruba?!?!

OK people; let’s get over ourselves. The mother of missing teen Natalee Holloway and the mayor of Alabama are trying to get a travel boycott against Aruba because “feels Aruba isn't doing all it can to solve the case.”

Yes, it is tragic that the girl is missing and we can all feel for her family and friends. But now the mayor of Alabama and her mother want to stop travel to this country. All I can say to that is, “What the Fuck?” In fact, we should boycott all travel to Alabama because I’m sure there is at least one person missing, at least one unsolved murder, at least one unsolved rape, at least one unsolved…in that state and they are obviously not doing all they can to solve those cases.

Oh wait, that’s right, she’s an American. Hell, she’s probably a “good Christian girl” as well. Better shut down the entire fucking country and find the American girl! So what if some local is also missing, killed, etc—they are not American so they are not important.

We have clearly become a nation on its downslide. I’ve heard it asked if the people of the Roman Empire knew it when their empire was failing. Sadly, it seems as if we can answer that question today. Those in top layer of politics, business, and the very wealthy just see unending glory. As you start moving your way down, I think more and more people can see clearly that the country is slowly failing.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Stock Alert!!

Attention! Attention!

Today I bought shares in Ameristar Casinos (NASDAQ:ASCA) so if history holds true, over the next two weeks it will shed 15%-35% of it’s value over the next two weeks and then spend about six months slowly creeping back up to today’s prices.

Next month I think that I will dump some more into my Morning Star Mid-Cap Value index fund. It has taken quite a beating since I last put anything into it, so it seems like a good time to go in again. Not sure what else I will be looking into, we shall see…

Friday, October 28, 2005

BetFair, Cryptologic, and PartyPoker

I have been wondering of late how the changes at PartyPoker influenced (if it did at all) the decision by Betfair to stay with Cryptologic. First of all, PartyPoker cutting loose all of their skins suddenly made the online poker world a much bigger place. Some of these skins will of course disappear, but I’m sure a few of them will hold on and gain a bit of market share as they build up a more loyal customer base. With so many new independents (even if it was against their will), it would defiantly be a much more scary place for Betfair to wonder into at this time.

At the same time PartyPoker also introduced more table games. One of Cryptologic’s biggest advantages was that it offered a lot more than just poker (poker counts about 30% of Cryptologics revenues). So now that the largest online poker gaming room is now offering more than just poker, Cryptologic has a bit more to worry about.

This can also be an opportunity. For those skins that just can’t cut it on their own without PartyPokers massive base, some of them may just move over to Cryptologic so they can once again take advantage of massive community of players. Obviously it is still a bit too soon to see how things will play out, but I for one hope that Cryptologic will come out the better for it, after all, I hold shares in the company after all.

Cryptologic is traded on the Nasdaq under the symbol CRYP.
Cryptologic is traded on the TSX (Toronto Stock Exchange) under the symbol CRY.
Cryptologic is traded on the LSE (London Stock Exchange) under the symbol CRP.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Well, now that Meiers is out, things should get interesting. Personally, I’m glad she’s gone, but now we just have to wonder, what’s next? Let’s face it, Bush does not give a rat’s ass about this country, so he just may pick someone else who meets his high standards of quality, ie, ‘I’ve known him/her for more than a decade.’

I can remember back to the 70-80’s in the Cold War era. The big thing was the Russians and the KGB Turn in your friends, family, neighbors, any threat to the state and they would be taken care of. Over there they had absolute power, search, seizure, no courts necessary, they could just do it.

Today, I can remember the 2000’s in the USA and the DHS. Turn in your friends, family, neighbors, any threat to the state and they would be taken care of. Over there they had absolute power, search, seizure, no courts necessary, they could just do it.

I for one find the similarities pretty fuckin’ scary and depressing.

Bad Bet

A very painful thing happened on Tuesday night during the private poker game—MOTH held at PokerStars on the last Tuesday of every month. I actually went out in 15th place. I had been playing very tight, my stack was all right, but not great and I finally got my first pair (about 5 minutes before the first break). Well, I bet it very aggressively and got called by a new person who had been playing nearly every hand trying to push people off of theirs, and since the table was by and large tight, he was doing pretty well.

Well, once the pot was decent, I went all in—I mean I had been play so tight all game that you could have stuck a lump of coal up my ass and had a diamond by the break. This person called with a pair of 10’s. We both ended up with two pair, so naturally, I was out, but at the same time most of the table was shocked that he called me with that. At the same time, this person labeled themselves as overly-aggressive and was played as such.

So while I can’t call it a bad beat, it was defiantly a ‘holly shit I can’t believe he called!’

And don’t forget that tomorrow night is the weekly game hosted by Team PokerStars very own Wil Wheaton!

What: WWdN: Up4Poker Invitational
Friday, October 28th. 9:00 PM EST
Password: monkey
Tournament number:

See ya there!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Bubble Tilt

Is there such thing as Bubble Tilt? Of my past six tourneys, I have finished twice in the money and four times I bubbled out! Being so close and yet so far is pretty bad, but when it happens so many times in so short a time period, it can almost make you sick to your stomach.

Oh well, just let it all go and get ready for tonight. This evening I’m in a $10+1 private tourney on PS. With a bit of luck I will land in the money this time, and trust me, my bankroll can use it! One of the tourneys I bubbled out on was a $10+1 just like this one, and since my bankroll was only $30ish, there is 2/3 all tied up. Add on losing those others and it will pretty well be depleted if I don’t make some cash here soon. Good thing Friday is payday…LOL.

Now there’s a goal, make your bankroll last 3 days till you can add on to it. All in all, on reflection it hasn’t been too bad. My original $25 bankroll has lasted me two months, playing between 3-9 hours a week and tonight will be my 3rd $10+1 tourney, I guess I haven’t been doing all that bad. One of the $10 tourneys I bubbled out on (that hurt) and the other I placed 7th (3 paid) so I’m getting there (I hope). But without a doubt, I can’t afford more that 2 of these private $10’s a month (a total of 5 are open each month), so I will need to pace myself and play smart on my very low-limit games and build up some cash to cover them.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

PokerStars Blogger Championship

10/23/2005 2:58:30 PM

Table 43 of 180, total of 1473 players.

Starting in the SB with a 52s—fold

10/23/2005 3:04:58 PM
Lost our first one already, AA v 72s, our Laggy Hectorjelly’s HAMMER got a flush!!

10/23/2005 3:09:49 PM
Be nice to get a hand to take Hectorjelly down a notch or two!!

10/23/2005 3:11:02 PM
Keeping my head above water, $2,090 in chips.

10/23/2005 3:16:19 PM
blinds are up to 15/30—looks like they go up every 15 min. We seem to have 3 no-shows at our table, I hope to outlast them! At least I get to steal their blinds every now and then!
Down to 1392 people on 155 tables.

10/23/2005 3:28:35 PM
My first big bad hand of the day, just lost about $150, my 88 went from 30 to 60 so I called (jmoney2424 is pretty Laggy). I had a weak flush draw and a decent straight draw. Had a bet of 30 and the river helped my straight and then an A on the river. He bet 90 and I called, he had been holding pocked A’s.
Blinds are now 25/50 and there are 1297 people on 144 tables.
My stack of 1,860 is now below average of 2289

10/23/2005 3:35:09 PM
DAMNITALL, just had KQ with a TJx board, bet was 80 to me, was about to go 150 when a dog snoot hit my arm and I FOLDED, arrgh!!

10/23/2005 3:40:33 PM
Seems like the only cards that are any good are the ones I fold, my best hand in quite some time just came up, T9, so why not, course I get raised and I call and the flop sucks so I check and get a huge raise…oh well I really didn’t want to place in this one…
The freakin’ no-shows are doing better than me!

10/23/2005 4:00:37 PM
Finally picked up a couple of decent hands, up to 2510, putting me on average for the table, one big stack at seat 9 with 5375, still the average now is 2781 with 1059 players on 118 tables.

10/23/2005 4:12:26 PM
Just went all-in with my JJ v. Hectorjelly (he initiated) and showed AA, was gonna go puke till I rivered a J!!  5195 in chips!!
10/23/2005 4:23:18 PM
Just made a stupid play, took my A4s to a 2BB raise (I was in the BB). Crap flop and fold, down to 4395. Blinds are now 100/200.

10/23/2005 4:29:30 PM
Well, we have officially outlasted ½ the field. We are now at 661 players on 74 tables.
Huge stack just moved in to replace Hector, 19000+!!

Well, not anymore, just took a big hit.

10/23/2005 4:38:23 PM
Cards, cards, cards, where are all the card?!?! Stack down to 3670, so sad…

10/23/2005 4:43:03 PM
HAMMER time…and folded.

10/23/2005 4:46:24 PM
Out in 408th place…oh well.

*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to Budohorseman [Jc Qd]Budohorseman: calls 200HugoBall: foldsjmoney2424: foldsthebrux: foldsHedman75: raises 600 to 800occabid: foldsmattmrob99: foldsQuilantis: foldshartman77: foldsBudohorseman: calls 600*** FLOP *** [Jh Ah 3s]Budohorseman: bets 600Hedman75: raises 5960 to 6560 and is all-inBudohorseman: calls 1345 and is all-in*** TURN *** [Jh Ah 3s] [8s]*** RIVER *** [Jh Ah 3s 8s] [3h]*** SHOW DOWN ***Budohorseman: shows [Jc Qd] (two pair, Jacks and Threes)Hedman75: shows [Ac Kc] (two pair, Aces and Threes)Hedman75 collected 5790 from side potmattmrob99 said, "gg"
Just a bit shy of making it into the top 25% and about 220 spots out of ‘the money’ or actually ‘the prizes’ in this particular case. Oh well, had fun and got some experience while I was at it, not too many dumb calls, but I should not have played that last set out of position, forced me to put too much into the pot and then have to call it, after my 600 bet before he put me all in, if I had folded I would be down to having to play the next three hands or be blinded/anted out of the game…

Friday, October 21, 2005

Back in the game

Well after about of week of sng’s without a single finish in the money, I finally had one last night…yeah for me!! My first one of the evening I went out in 10th, three short of the money and my departure put everyone else into the final table…so sad.

After a short break I sat back down and got into another sng. It was going pretty well, managed to get my stack up a bit and then just hold it there for what seemed like forever. As time went on, I eventually found myself at the final table again, and it was about frickin’ time!

As I gaze around the table, I find myself in 4th seat, and about ½ the chips are being held by three of the nine players. And so it begins, after a bit, one is down and we are now on the bubble. A few hands later and the next one is gone, yeah I’m in 7th and in the money! Of course 2nd stack is immediately to my right and is very aggressive. I try to get my chips in where they count, and eventually I manage to double up. Not too much later, one more down, and that big stack to my right is not so big anymore.

As play continues, I keep watching people drop off. I’m in 6th, now 5th, now 4th, hey, things are going my way!! Then I have an ‘Oh Shit’ moment when I realize that I have taken few of those chips and now all the other stacks are getting huge. Now I’m in 3rd and within two hands, I find myself going heads up! I’m all psyched up, but my opponent has about a 5:1 chip advantage on me so I have some work to do.

Based on the blinds, antes, and my stack, I’ve got about 4-5 hands I can play assuming I fold them all, but that’s not what we are here for. The first hand was unimpressive, a weak pair (55 or 77 don’t remember which). So I did a 2BB raise and he folded. Hand two was interesting.


I pushed in ½ my stack and got a call…


Top two pair plus a heart flush draw so I went all in and got a call…

Turns over 7h8h…crap!

Tc…now if I can just avoid a 9 or a heart…

And the river is….


Oh well, what can you do. Since I bet ½ my stack pre-flop, I probably just should have went all-in and maybe gotten a fold, but I wanted something he would play so I could get me some chips before the blinds went up again. Who knows, maybe I’ll cash in tonight!!

What: WWdN: Decker711 Invitational
Friday, October 21st. 7:00 PM EST
Tournament number:

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Laying Down a Good Hand

I had a moment of revelation today. Been reading up on poker and have read about a bajillion blogs and message board posts on the topic of folding a good hand. Not really that I did not understand the concept, I have done it myself dozens of times already. I had just been misunderstanding what they were saying. I had been reading “good hand” as “winning hand.”

By that they mean being able to lay down AdAc with a board that shows JhTh9h 8h Ks and everyone else is betting 30BB. Granted this is painfully obvious, but it also refers to laying down a low straight or flush, weak sets etc.

That little bit of clarity has made many of the posts that I have read make much more sense than before. Of course now I have a bunch I need to reread now….

Monday, October 17, 2005

'The Grieving Process'

So when did we develop ‘The Grieving Process’ and when did it become mandatory? I heard a new story this morning, and it was quite tragic. During this 5-minute sound bite, I heard about how a chartered bus carrying a local school band from a state band competition crashed into a semi that jackknifed in front of it.

Turns out, there were five deaths, the bus driver, the band director, his wife their granddaughter and a student teacher. This is of course a sad and tragic event. But listening to the school principal (or superintendent, not sure which one) talk about it on the new gave me that sick-to-the-stomach feeling.

During his 5-minute sound bite I’m pretty sure I never heard the name of anyone killed in the accident, but did hear ‘The Grieving Process’ mentioned no less than 23 times. They are brining on extra counselors to help students, staff, and faculty deal with ‘The Grieving Process.’ They are brining in twice the number of substitute teachers to help the students, staff, and faculty deal with ‘The Grieving Process.’ The day will go on as usual, but at any time anyone can leave class and find a counselor to help them with ‘The Grieving Process.’ At the start of the school day, everyone will hear from a counselor or psychologist at the start of class and be told about ‘The Grieving Process.’ As a community, we will all now have to pull together to get through ‘The Grieving Process’ so we can all move on together. And on, and on, and on.

With all that extra staff, there will now be pressure to participate in ‘The Grieving Process’ even if you are not grieving over these losses. I’m sure that there will be notes made about those who did not go through ‘The Grieving Process’ for signs of them being apathetic sociopaths.

With all of this focus on ‘The Grieving Process,’ it has changed from a measure to help those who could actually use the support into some type of obligation that many will just not understand. It may well even cause more problems as some of the kids ask themselves if they are bad people or if something is wrong with them because they do not feel the need to be a part of ‘The Grieving Process.’ What will people think of me if I do not go through ‘The Grieving Process’ with them? I didn’t make it to that candlelight homage at 5 A.M. for some people I’ve never met and only one of which I’ve even heard of?

I’m not trying to belittle the tragedy that occurred. I’m sure that many of his students and several member of the faculty and staff will feel this loss sharply. It is the sense of obligation and the constant invocation of ‘The Grieving Process’ that, to me, is actually belittling the fact that a tragedy has occurred. The people who need to grieve will grieve in their own ways in their own time. Indirectly forcing everyone else into it will only detract from those who actually will.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Pledge 2.0

Are kids still required to recite the pledge of allegiance in schools? No matter, it’s still done at US government events and US military bases worldwide. Like so many other things, it just seems to be a bit dated and out-of-touch with today’s society. So now I present to you the Pledge 2.0 Beta! Comments and suggestions are welcome!

I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America and to the corporations, for which it stands, one economy, under God, increasing deficits, with dividends and stock options for all major shareholders.


Had a very new and really quite painful experience last night. Playing in my SNG, just make it to the final table. My stack was pitiful and I needed to move soon or I would be blinded anted out in about 2.5 orbits or so (200/400+50).

So there is the button, about 3-4 seats away and I got some cards I was considering when…blackness! The computer for some unknown reason decided at that moment to lock up and go blank. I stared at it for a few seconds, jump into ‘oh shit’ mode and reboot.

Sadly, this computer has been in need of a format and reinstall for years, but the roomie hates it when I do that, mostly because she doesn’t back anything up or keep track of her activation codes etc. As a result, it takes a good (well, not good per se) 5-10 minutes for the damn thing to come back up and to get logged on.

By the time I managed to get my game back up, the button is pretty much back to where it had started. My already small stack was pretty much gone and now I was UTG and could last one more orbit. Got a KX, went all-in and of course busted out. So this month I’m getting one more new hard-drive, setting myself up a RAID and reinstalling everything and have a nice clean, fast system again!! Not that it will help my game mind you, but should that happen again I should be able to get back on in a hand or two, rather than ten!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Register on PokerStars for the Blogger Tourney

Poker Championship

I have registered to play in the
Online Poker Blogger Championship!

This event is powered by PokerStars.

Registration code: 1373220

Life goes on...

Well, I pick up Moto’s remains on Monday. I got a bit of a surprise too. Turns out that the vet made a resin paw print of her and put her name on it before they sent her off with Gary for cremation at the Pet Valhalla. That pretty much brought me to tears again, it was quite touching and completely unexpected.

She is currently on the ancestor altar at the Zen Center and will be there until the ritual on November 12th. At that time, we will put her ashes in the Zen Garden and have some little indicator there as well. Just need to pick us a nice spot, after all, one day I will be there too!!

And this just in, WWdN is hosting a poker tourney!! That should be quite fun!
What: WWdN Where's My Burrito? Invitational
Friday, October 14th. 4:00 PM EST
Tournament number:

This tournament is open to anyone who reads WWdN or WWdN:IE, or who happens to know that the password is monkey. :)
It should be fun, a nice warm-up to the PokerStars Blogger Tourney, and if enough people show up (and enjoy it, of course) I will make it a weekly event, with the time (and buy-in) rotating to accomodate everyone who wants to play.

I’ll have to see what I can do to make it, will need to get out of work a bit early, but I will be able to make it up next week!

Just recently I was in a satellite tourney that was a $3+$.30 with Re-buys and Add-ons. I had budgeted myself the But-in, one re-buy and the add-on, so at most $9+$.30 for the tourney. I was not prepared for how willing people are to throw their cash away and get those re-buys. There were two people at my table who did 5 and 6 re-buys. I saw only one person lose their stack and leave, and a few others did 2 or 3 re-buys. My theory was if I couldn’t make 3000 chips last me the first hour I had no business being in the tourney.

Well, about 45 min into the game I’m down to about $850 and the blinds were $75/$150 and everyone at the table had done at least 2 re-buys and then those two who had done the 5 and 6 re-buy’s, well let’s just say that there were a freaking ton of chips on the table and my stack was effectively crippled. So I was considering doing my re-buy when finally, I hit some cards, made a hand and doubled up. Now I have about $1,700 and about 10 min left till the re-buy period ends and the break/add-on period starts.

At $1,700, it was survivable at the table, but I figured that if I didn’t hit some cards before we got down to 3 min left, I would bet out the minimum I could to get me to $1,500 or lower so I could do one re-buy and then the add-on shortly thereafter and return from the break with around $5,000ish. Just when I was getting ready to make that play, I caught some cards again and once again doubled up just before the break. When the next hour started I had a little better than $6,000 after my add-on.

I ended up busting out around half and hour later. My stack hadn’t changed all that much, but all the ones around me were getting quite large and those blinds were going up. I ended up in the BB with K2s with a couple limpers. The flop came K2X so I made a 3X BB ($1,600 I think) and got a caller. The turn came 2 so I went all in and got called again. Couldn’t believe that my full house KK222 lost, but that jerk had KK so he had the 22KKK full house. Oh well, that’s poker for ya!!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Oh no Moto

Oh no Moto!!

Today I did the toughest thing I ever have had to do…I had to put my dog down. Part of the reason it was so difficult, was that it was bloat. When I let her out at 5:45am, she seemed to be ok, maybe a bit stiff and slow, but hard to tell after just crawling out of bed. Not to mention the fact that she is a 13-year-old Akita!

So I let the other dogs out, got the coffee going, turned on the morning news, and let the other dogs in—she usually stays out in the mornings. I get ready and head off to work.

Around 9:42am I got a call from Sue asking me if Moto looked all right this morning. I told her she seemed fine (I may have mentioned her being a bit stiff, but I really don’t remember). Sue then told me that she was not responding well, was drooling quite a bit, seemed a bit bloated and asked me what I wanted her to do. I told her that if she though she needed to be taken in to go ahead and make the arrangements.

When she called back about 15 or so minutes’ later saying that our regular vet was out for a week, and the referral was someone who is not on our top 10 list, she wanted to know if I could do another vet (with some, they want payment in full if you are not a regular client). I told her to go ahead.

It is very unusual for Sue to call repeatedly about animals unless there is something very wrong. I finished up what I was working on and got myself out early and on the road, probably before 10:30. I was on my way home when Sue called me on my cell, she didn’t know that I had left, to tell me that she had at least one appointment for late in the afternoon, but she had just gotten a referral to a friends vet, so she was going to call them.

I was almost home when she called my cell again to tell me they would see Moto as soon as she got there, and that they had just left the house. So in just a few minutes, I was on my way there to.

We pretty much got there at the same time. I got poor old Moto out of Sue’s truck, and it was pretty obvious that she was not well. We got her out of the truck and into the vet’s. She pretty much just collapsed as soon as we hit the lobby, and just lay there panting. A couple minutes later and we were in the back (Moto needed to be carried) and waited for the doctor to show up.

It didn’t take him very long, a check to her heart showed irregular heartbeat, her gums were pale and cool, and her abdomen was distended. Then he said “I hate to do this to you now, but she is bloated and we need to know now if you want us to attempt surgery or if we should euthanise her.”

I looked to Sue for advice, but all she could say is that she was my dog. I don’t think that Sue understood that I was trying to get her view on what Moto’s chances were. Then the doctor spoke up with something I could understand—he talked numbers.

“Based on her current condition, I’d say she has a 50% chance of surviving the anesthesia, and maybe another 50% chance to survive the actual surgery. Depending upon how bad things are, we will probably need to remove some intestine and her spleen. Her recovery will not be easy. Then you also have to take into account her age…”

Once I heard that, the decision, while not easy, was quite obvious. 4:1 against her surviving the procedure weighted by the fact that she is a 13 year old Akita, a breed that normally has a span of 10-11 years. Somehow he managed to understand that I said, “Then I guess we have to put her down…”

“That’s the right choice” he said.

A few moments later and he had shaved a spot on her arm, tied it off, and put in a needle. The next moment, he had pushed the solution, and after a few more pants, she was gone. As her body settled, some of the gas that had built up gurgled out a bit, and then I knew that my Hashiimoto was gone.

Just last night she was all bouncy and happy, as animated as ever. I would guess that she was starting to get uncomfortable around 5ish in the morning when she woke me up. She didn’t show any signs, she just seemed less than her usual chipper self. A few hours later and she was gone.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I loved that dog. She is simply one in a million. There isn’t a creature in this house that didn’t love her, and I’m sure that before too long they are all going to realize that she is not here anymore. I’m pretty sure that her sister knows already, you can tell by how she looks at the door every time it opens and closes and Moto does not come out.

The cats will all be missing her quite soon too. They would always rub up on her and it was not uncommon to see a cat curled up with her when she was lying down and sleeping. Heck, even the pig will miss her, she was the only one who would let him sleep by them and she also tended to never finish all of her kibble, so he would always have something more to eat when he was done with his pig food.

I think one of the last things I said to her other than “I love you” was “thank you.” She brought me more happiness and joy than anyone has a right to expect. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to be there with her at the end. She gave so much she deserved that much.

And now tonight will be the first night that I go to bed without my dog…

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

World Peace

During last nights Dharma talk, Tony was doing the Q&A and the concept of World Peace came up. Most people’s view of peace is quite confused and unclear. Most people assume that when you are not at war, then you must have peace. This is obviously not the case, when you are not at war, then you are in a state of not-war.

When you consider peace to be that point in time where you are not blowing someone up, then you live in a state of confusion that will eventually lead to more war. To be at peace requires that you can respect and understand, not necessarily agree with mind you. It requires that you can work together co-operatively despite any differences that may exist.

He also finds it very funny that so many people want to do something to help bring about World Peace but are at a loss as to what to do! World Peace is a wonderful to aspire to, because it is nothing more than a nebulous fiction that exists ‘out there.’ Spending a lifetime working towards World Peace is really just a lifetime working on nothing.

How can this be you ask? Well let me tell you. How can you get to World Peace if you can’t first take out the garbage, wash the dishes, do the laundry or take care of the yard? How can you have World Peace if you don’t even know your neighbors name? How can you have World Peace if you can’t help that person two doors down mend a fence or help them change a tire?

How can you build World Peace if your own house isn’t in order? How can you have World Peace if you can’t help a neighbor or stranger in need? World Peace starts very simply. It starts with each and every one of us. It does not require that we go to demonstrations or protests. All it requires is that we take out the garbage, wash the dishes, and do the laundry. It starts with your own home and with helping your neighbors.

It is very easy to point to something ‘out there’ and worry about it. It is very difficult to look at what is right in front of us. As a nation, we all pulled together for the Katrina and Rita relief efforts sending our extra cash and supplies their way. But check your local food bank. Many of them have been coming up very short because everyone sent their extra resources ‘out there.’

World Peace starts simple and small. It starts with each of us in our own homes. It reaches out to our neighbors, our block, our neighborhood, our city and so on. World Peace is a bottom-up process, not a top-down one. Until we all start working from that approach, World Peace will remain that nebulous entity in the sky!


Monday, October 03, 2005

So how was your weekend?

Got a bunch of yard work done this weekend...hopefully did the last mowing of the year and got some patches re-seeded. We’ll see how things look in a few weeks here.

Spent a good amount of time out at the Zen Center. Had the 2nd annual Compassion Fest, sort of an interfaith venture out at the DeKoven Center. Lot’s of music and art, garden walks and contemplations, critter mandalla, and a lot of donations for the food bank in Racine, the primary reason for this event. All in all, it turned out to be a very nice day, and the rain held off until everything was put away!!

Only sad thing was with everything else going on there was no time for poker—LOL!!

Friday, September 30, 2005

Does this Plug-in Work?!?!

So does this plug-in for Word work or not? I have had some questionable results thus far so I just don’t really know?!?!

I also had to turn on the word type verification for the comments. As it turns out, I have received numerous posts that are just ads to totally unrelated stuff. What a pain in the ass! Oh well, ya just gotta do what ya gotta do!

Out the window

It seems as if this beautiful day has been taunting me through the window. Maybe when I get home I’ll round up all the critters and get them all outside. Throw some tennis balls for the dobie and rottie, let the girls lay about on the deck, get the pig out too by scattering some pig food around. Then just kick back with a glass of merlot and start reading Harrington on Holdem Volume I.

On second thought, maybe I’ll start with Volume II. I’ve been making it to the final table consistently and find myself on a short table. As people drop off, it really does change the dynamic of the game and I have yet to go heads up, and I know that is much different than anything I have done thus far…

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Getting back into this...

Well, let’s get back to this now, shall we? Way back when I had mentioned that I had an eye exam that had some pretty disturbing results. Well, after going to the specialist, it looks as though I have nothing to worry about. The problems were very minute, especially when you consider I’ve been Type I diabetic for 20+ years!!

Let’s see, what else has happened? Good old Norm (my dad) had a bad stress test and had to go in for an angiogram. There was an 85% chance that there was blockage that would need to be dealt with in one way or another. As it turns out, he had minimal blockage and was sent home in the afternoon.

The only other new thing is this, I have discovered on-line poker, and not only do I enjoy it, I’m also doing pretty well at it!! It started out innocently enough; I enrolled in a Katrina Benefit at PokerStars. A few days before I read up on the game so I could learn the rules and a bit of strategy so I could make it at least a bit entertaining for the real poker players.

Well during that week, I played a few ring games on-line and for the most part got my ass handed back to me. The amount I made in one game did not make up for what I lost in the other two. I suppose I should mention I made a $50 deposit, signed up for a $5 and $20 Katrina tourney (PokerStars matched 100% of all buy-in, raised over US$110 Thousand with the match). So with my remaining $25, by the time of the tourney, I had just over $20 left.

Well, at the $5 tourney, I did not do so well, 1818 of 2212. As it turns out, tourneys are a bit different than cash games, but I fell in love with the tourney structure. After that I had 24 hours before the next one, so I did a bit of studying, and by the next night and the $20 tourney, I placed 69 of 738.

Well, after finding a structure that I liked, having done pretty damn well with only a week of experience and still have $20 left, I continued onwards. It turns out, there is a type of min-tourney structure called a Sit and Go (SnG). Basically, you sign up for it, and as soon as the minimum numbers of people have signed up, it goes (usually takes 3-6 minutes).

Naturally, I’ve been playing in the shallow end of $1.00+ $0.20 ($1.00 into the pot and 20 cents for the site as and administrative/hosting fee), but of my 6 tourneys, I’ve ended up in the money 3 times. So that ended up putting me positive (not including the $25 for the Katrina donations).

During that time, I found out that one of the message boards on the site I love for my investing advice, just also happens to have a board for poker players!! So I singed up for a $10+$1 SnG and actually placed 7th of 22!! Now this was not in the money, but many of the players here are pro/pro-am! By that I mean that some of these peoples bankrool (the amount they play with) is approximately my annual salary! Some of them post about bad hands they had in their $30/$60 games and lost a $700+ pot…before going on to the next hand!!
Pretty scary, this could be transforming into yet another poker blog!!!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Who needs freedom when you can live in a Police State!!

I'm sure that all of our terrorist friends are now celebrating, and with good reason! Not only is the “Patriot Act” surviving, it’s giving the government even more freedom to restrict us without any checks and balances as well as being extended to 2010 before the next review. Not to mention they've now authorized random searches, at least in NY City. The NY city police can do 'random' searches on public transit riders.

Now to be fair, the NY police will not be doing any racial profiling. They are only targeting bags that are big enough to hold a bomb, paying special attention to backpacks and rucksacks. Correct me if I’m wrong, but a grenade is a type of bomb, yes? If so, I could put about a half dozen of them in my lunch bag. Guess they will just focus on the big bombs rather than the small bombs. I’m just glad that I’m not someone with Middle-Eastern heritage attending school in NY, heck, I’d probably be getting searched about 12 times a day!

And I can also fully understand the logic behind it, after all, a suicide bomber would never, ever think about leaving the platform/station if they saw police approaching. And it’s preposterous to think that if a suicide bomber were searched that they might actually set off the bomb on the platform or in the station, after all, they only set them off on trains and busses. And I’m sure all terrorists and suicide bombers hold to a very strict timetable and not a one would ever even dream of setting their bomb off a little bit early or late.

I guess pretty soon, this policy will be in place within three blocks of all government buildings, landmarks, or ‘sensitive’ areas, assuming that is not already the case. By Memorial Day, I’m sure that ‘random’ roadside checks will be an everyday thing, especially around bridges/overpasses and tollbooths.

I’m glad to see that these terrorist activities in the US and abroad have had no impact on any of our lives. I’m glad to see that our freedoms are still so safe and secure. I feel more comfortable knowing that the government can now go through all of my personal records, search my home without telling anyone, and now search me on the streets if I have a bag on me. I feel so much more comfortable knowing that I can be held and questioned indefinitely without access to legal counsel or to my family. It’s good to know that all these terrorist activities have not affected anyone’s lives here in these United States… now secretly known as USSR v2.0 RC-1.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Terror Richter Scale

Since the recent bombing in London, several reporters and media personalities, including everyone’s favorite Rush Limbaugh, have called these attacks “unsuccessful” because the death toll was only 40 (at the time the statements were made) with “only” 150ish injuries.

Only an idiot thinks that the death toll is what is important to a terrorist strike. The real purpose of such a strike is to demoralize the target society, watch the government step up their police actions as the population loses their freedoms one-by-one. They want people to lose faith in their governments ability to protect them, while causing the people to live in fear, as their nation becomes a police state.

Sadly, it has become obvious that for the sake of the media and for reporters everywhere who use the Body Count Index (BCI) as a measure of success for terrorist strikes that an objective scale is required. It is with great regret that I must formally introduce the Terror Richter Scale based on the Body Count Index—TRSBCI.

Terror Richter Scale Number

Body Count Index

Terror Rating































So as we can now clearly and objectively see, the London Bombings were not an Unsuccessful attack, it was a Marginal attack. Also by this scale, we can quantify that the September 11th attack was an Acceptable attack. And we can all sleep comfortably, secure in the knowledge that to date, we have yet to see a Successful terrorist attack.

Just for the record, I would like to say to all the reporters and media personalities who called the attacks unsuccessful (that we now can see were clearly Marginal), piss on all of you. The loss of a single life is far too many; the grief of one family makes it a Successful attack.

Do we need to have peace with every nation/group/person on the planet? Of course not. What we do need is a state of non-violence and non-war that will allow us to cohabit this planet.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Knee jerk

In a recent Wired article, the blogging of a murdered/sex-offender was examined along with many of the replies to his later posts to his blog. Going into what he did, what he said in his posts etc is really not going to be all that fun to go into here, however several of the replies at the end are worth a comment or two…

Perhaps the most common sentiment wonders how Duncan's increasingly disturbed postings failed to draw law enforcement attention before his arrest.

"They can prosecute people for downloading music by tracing, yet no one is watching for this kind of shit on the web?" one anonymous poster wrote. "How can a registered sex offender even have a website like this. Shame on law enforcement for not monitoring him better."

"Why on earth can we not monitor things of this nature?" another visitor asked. "We have the technology to do it, but it takes the death of a child in order for someone to react. I can not believe how sick society is now a day to let something like this be published world wide."

"Why didn't anyone on this blog report this activity to authorities," another post asked. "This kind of thing is what the Patriot Act is supposed to help!?! Isn't it?"

First of all, you just have to think…do we really want the government watching and regulating everything that goes up on the net? Do they realize that www stands for World Wide Web, i.e. this stuff can actually be hosted anywhere in the world and be outside the jurisdiction of any US agency? And report him…. “Hello, is this the Department of Bad Blogs?….Yes, I’d like to report a Bad Blog. I think the author is psycho and should be arrested and the site shut down…What do you mean First Amendment Rights?…Defamation of Character, what are you talking about?….Yes I’m from WV and the blogger is in WY….What do you mean you can’t do anything because of jurisdictional issues?”

I mean let’s face it, there is a ton of B.S. out there on the web in general, and a healthy dose of B.S. in the forms of blogs. And yes, this does appear to be a case of a real bad guy actually talking about all the bad things he has actually done. If the authorities actually had to look into every piece of questionable material on the web, well then every single person of authority would spend their entire days reviewing all the crap that is out there.

There is no way to tell the real from the fake. Is a blog a real personal account of something or just a piece of creative writing? After all, for every one person like him who’s posting a blog on the net, there are about 100,000 who are just posting crap. If someone had reported him, and due to his history, someone had actually gotten a warrant and he was arrested, I’m sure any two-bit lawyer would have been able to have him freed within a few hours on the grounds that his client was just observing his First Amendment protected rights, his freedom of expression. And even if they had brought him in, last I checked in this country at least, until you actually commit or attempt to commit a crime you can’t be convicted of it.

They best they could have hoped for were to put someone on him and watch him. But for how long? A sad fact is that it costs money to have someone under surveillance 24/7 including wiretaps and computer logging. The watch may have lasted a few days or weeks, but eventually the money would run out for watching a potential criminal. And when it comes down to it, he committed the crime in a different state, so unless they set up a joint interstate operation (even more expensive) I’m afraid the chances of preventing this particular crime are remote.

Yes, this was a horrible and tragic event. If you read the blog it’s no more or less tweaked than many that are out there, but when combined with what happened, well now it becomes so ‘clear’. This guy posted a few times a month for over a year, and that would be a very long time to keep someone under surveillance.

The real question to those who made those types of comments is…how many more of your freedoms and liberties are you willing to give-up in exchange for protection from the likes of this person? Fortunately, people like this are few and far between. And what would more laws and more government intrusion into our lives get us? Don’t forget, we are talking about criminals here—they are already breaking the law so adding more restrictions does nothing but keep all the rest of us repressed so the criminals (assuming they get caught) have a few more charges brought against them.

New laws, rules, restrictions etc only affect the law-abiding citizens. Shutting down the blog would not have prevented the crime. Arresting on the basis of the blog content would not have prevented the crime. Either of those would have justified his feeling of oppression and just added fuel to the fire. Give the government permission to start shutting down blogs and website because of ‘questionable content’ and you know they will start pulling the plugs en masse. And don’t think for an instant that the government will watch ‘just the bad guys’, after all, they know how to spoof a server address just as well as the next guy, nope, and we will all be watched. You have nothing to hide you say? That might be true, but how will you feel when they are searching your house because you visited a website of someone they consider subversive?

Yes, I realize that this is a rather extreme view, but in light of what they did with the Patriot Act, a knee-jerk reaction to fear is something they are learning to take advantage of. So be careful of what you ask for, you just might get it, and it’s a very slippery slope!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

What to do, What to do...

I don't know about you, but all of the decent blogs that I've read have always seemed to have started not long after one of those profound moments that make you look inwards at yourself. For how one of the best blogs on the net got started after one such event, check out WWdN.

My own personal moment came after an eye exam just last weekend. Went through the regular exam, no big changes there, just needed a bit stronger for the reading portion. I was really just there because my old lenses were scratched all to hell. But he put the drops in to dilate the eyes and then sent me out for a bit while the drops did their work.

About twenty minutes later, he called me back in. First he checks the right eye, then the left. Then he goes back to the right eye and then back to the left. This process repeats about five or six more times. By round three, I’m thinking, ‘Oh shit, this can’t be good!’ as this is normally a 30 second exam, 15 seconds per eye.

“Well, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you” says the doc.

‘No shit!’ I think.

“As you know, with diabetics we like to keep track of the health of the retina, and I found some very small micro-hemorrhaging in front of your retinas. I’m afraid you have the start of diabetic retinopathy.”

He went on a bit more and gave me a referral for a more in-depth exam at the hospital (I still have to set that up) but my mind had locked itself on those two (not so) little words, diabetic retinopathy. I knew I would hear those words sooner or later, I was just hoping it would be a bit more on the later side.

Having Type 1 diabetes for around 22 years now, I’ve always known that this was in my future, still, it does suck when it finally arrives. So to console myself, I picked up a new coffee maker and grinder. What can I say I’m a coffee snob and love the good stuff! Maybe next month I’ll ditch my old point-and-shoot digital camera and pick myself up a nice dSLR—I love photography and really miss the control of the SLR’s.