Friday, November 11, 2005

A Republican Budget

Don’t you just love those Conservative Republicans? They are a bunch of really great people who care and can see clearly. To pay to rebuild the Gulf Coast they want to cut all public services that help the poor. After all, it was mostly the poor who got screwed so they should pay for it right?

In fact, let’s just give them a budget they can all truly appreciate. Let’s propose that for anyone making less than $125,000 a year they should pay a tax rate of 50%, after all, they are the only ones who use these tax programs, right? But since $125,000 isn’t really wealthy, but they are on their way, anyone between $125,000 and $500,000 will only need to pay 15%, that should help motivate them to put their money where it will do the most good, to help them make more money to make it to the next tax bracket.

For those in the $500,000 to $1,000,000 range, they will of course not pay any taxes. They need to keep that money pumping through the system, investing in companies, moving all of their technical jobs to India and China, manufacturing to Latin America etc. Once we finally get rid of this whole Tariff nonsense then the imports can really start rolling in, along with the additional profits!!

For those who break that $1,000,000 tax bracket, they will receive an additional 10% from the taxes collect from all the proletariats as part of a ‘spending initiative’ program. That will keep all that tax money from the good hard working Americans where it will do the most good.

Since it has been observed that all the children of wealthy Americans do so well in their private schools, we should remove the section of the tax code that allows the taxpayers to receive credits for their dependents and instead charge them for their dependents. This money can then be pumped directly into our Faith-based initiative program available through your specially screened and approved Evangelical School, while closing all public schools, saving us millions. For those who still can not afford the tuition, because school is still required by law, Community Services programs will be available where the entire family can work together for 15 hours every weekend mowing lawns along the highways, cleaning government building and approved corporate building etc.

As a bonus, all donations to the GoP will count double towards your tax bracket (except for the 50% bracket) and will count as taxes paid (if applicable). We just want to make sure you know how much we appreciate your support.

But until such time as we can put this all into affect, please rest assured that we will continue to reduce the tax burden on our most influential Americans and will continue to support corporate America as we relieve them of obligations of paying pensions, help reduce benefits to employees and increase employee contributions all so CEO’s and top-level executives can continue to be compensated at levels of 750 times that of their average worker, before their bonuses!

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