Better than expected

Things went much better than I ever expected at the anti-bullying session I taught this morning at the Stephen Bull Fine Arts Elementary School today. A huge thank you to Ms. Orlando who both invited me there for their program, and for also keeping a pulse on the group and raising her hand to ask pointed questions to help keep me on track with the time. She really helped me to change the aspects of my talk regularly as I was addressing the questions of the students.

As I may have mentioned previously, the little ones cause me terror. Ask me not why, they just do. During the first session with the K-2nd graders, I was sweating bullets. I got the talk going, engaged them, and there were so many hands going up asking questions or telling what bullying is and even offering suggestions what someone could do if someone was being bullied. I was amazed by how attentive they were and by how much they wanted to contribute to the session.

During the ten minutes or so between sessions, Ms. Orlando gave me a couple of suggestions for the older group, and changed her prompts accordingly, an off we went. With this group, I wish I had an hour longer. When I was their age is really when I got picked on (3-5) and it only got worse from there. It was in this group that I got a most unexpected surprise.

After I gave my talk on how to ‘diffuse’ a bullying situation one girl raised her hand and said, “ When someone is being picked on I can say ‘That’s not funny’, grab their arm and walk away.” I can tell you I almost shed a tear at that moment, because a young girl in the fourth or fifth grade taught me a most profound lesson. I had never even considered that simple yet profound act.

To have been schooled by such a young one teaches that our adult minds can get lost in the complexity of a simple situation. At times it takes a young, somewhat uncluttered mind, to remind the adults to see through all the b.s. and get to what is important, just help someone in need. Thank you young lady in the ‘Hello Kitty’ tee.

To all of the teachers out there, all I can say is wow, I don’t know how you do it every day. This was my first time with the young ones, but wow, that was a lot of energy to even attempt to keep on any type of focus. To all teachers out there, I bow to you, your task is both a difficult and under appreciated one.

What a day!!

At the start of my day, I fear I did not have my eye on the clock. I was supposed to meet Lynn to fill out some paperwork before I headed on up to school to get my books. Oh yeah, I am back in school for the first time in twenty something years. So I rescheduled that until I got back from school.

While at school, I got a phone call. For an interview. With an actual person. From a phone interview I had done. Four months ago. In four hours. When I am at school 30 minutes from home. And need to drop off paperwork that still need to be picked up and returned the same day. And remember what the job actually is. And print up copies of the resume.

If I do not get this job, I really do not know what I will do. Well, that is not true. I could shoot a pen of insulin and pass unaware, or I could grab my gun and do it quick (if messy). Sadly, such things are not my way. I can only fantasize about them

With luck, when classes start on Monday, I will be focused enough that the job will drift to the back of the mind. Who knows, if I keep telling myself that I may well work for an hour or two!

Oh the Terror

It is really starting to sink in. Awhile ago I agreed to teach a couple of seminars on Bullying at one of our local schools. I am finding myself getting more nervous and apprehensive as the date slowly approaches.

Now I have done my share of teaching in the past. I’ve taught martial arts to people from sixteen to sixty. I went cross country in 1999 for software replacement and was one of the instructors for all of the sales reps with the new software. So while I may get a bit nervous just before, once I get going I am just fine.

But this one is different. This time it is a Bullying seminar, for children. Grades K-5. Since I am not a kid person, it is starting to sink in. It’s been a long time since I have had stage-fright, so this will be interesting.

I’ve already gone over my presentation with one of the teachers from the school, and as far as she is concerned, it is splendid. She gave me a few notes and some suggestions of things I can throw in at the end, personal recollections from when I was bullied when I was their age, how years later, in-part due to the bullying, how I got into martial arts, and that I have never hit a person (well never hit someone outside of the dojo, lol) despite all of my training.

So while this event has me as nervous as the first time I was four on one in the dojo, I am looking forward to it as well so I can get past this fear in my head. It’s kind of funny that it’s a bunch of knee high kids that is one of my greatest fears.

So as of now, there is only one thing that can make me feel better…Soft Kitty.

Nothing like…

The smell of the house after you roast some coffee. For those of you who do not roast your own coffee, it is an interesting process. Coffee starts out as green beans, kind of a dark olive green. During the early part of the roasting cycle, the scent is similar to fresh cut grass. As the roasting continues, the beans turn yellowish, not bright, but pale and muted, with not much of a change in scent. As it continues, the beans begin to brown, at which point the beans develop a chocolaty and nutty scent. As they continue to roast and become more/darker brown, they take on the scent of brownies cooking in the oven. Then, as they hit the coffee stage as we know it, you get an actual coffee scent.

The aroma is wonderful, the mix of nutty/chocolaty/coffee goodness that lasts for days. And fortunately for me, I do very small batches so every three days or I get to roast more. I feel sorry for the rest of you!

My current batch is some Costa Rican San Marcos that I have from Burman Coffee Traders, where I get all of my coffee. If you roast your own you should check them out. They give a review for their coffees, they have excellent prices, and if you live somewhat close by the shipping can’t be beat!

Getting back to, well, everything…

I have been a bit down as of late, as well may be obvious from my lack of posts over the past year or so. I have also noticed a pattern to my behavior that has been repeating once again. As I get down, I tend to withdraw and stop doing things I enjoy. Such things, of course, only feed the cycle.

So as of now, I am trying to break that cycle. I have gone so far as to pin my blog writer to my Start Menu, so at least it has presence, and with luck, I will begin to hit it more often.

There are many things that I have enjoyed that I have let slip. Heck, just about everything. My Aikido is almost nonexistent at this time. My Zen time is once a week and that is not even on a cushion. My poker has been far reduced, much too reduced for a game I enjoy so much. Lastly, I was one of the top 10 posters to the How To Geek forums once upon a time.

I recently started to play more of the Poker Stars 50/50 games. They are nice Sit-an-Go’s if you do not want to spend too much time (or have other things to do but still want to play) on a game. I like them better than the Double or Nothing games (that are now being eliminated), because it adds a bit of depth to the game. Now players are not just trying to make it to the top 50%, they also want to have the highest chip percentage to increase their win amount. It does change the play dynamics of the game (relative to the Double or Nothing format).

I have also begun to post to the forums again at How to Geek. I must admit that I have not been keeping myself as up-to-date on current technology as I used to, but damn, it feels good to be helping people in the forums again, so there is some incentive to start keeping up on technology again.

The ‘difficult’ ones are getting back into both Aikido and Zen. In Aikido, all I need to do is get suited up and be prepared to have my ass slammed six inches into the mat. It’s easy. In Zen, all I need to do is get suited up and sit on a cushion until it sinks six inches into it. It’s easy. But as ‘they’ say, Mind Makes; and mine just will not shut up long enough for me to do the simple things, such as to step on the mat or enter the dharma room. So sad for something so simple.

But now some of ‘they’ have seen it, so now I have to act…To be continued….

On PokerStars 50/50 Low-Limit Perspective…

It seems that it’s been 18 years or so since I have posted here. If anyone still reads this, particularly poker people, here is a low-limit perspective of PokerStars 50/50 games.

Most of the poker players I have played with are well above what I can do. My very first game was a WWdN game that was a charity event, but led to the WWdN series on Stars.

Eventually that game died off and The Mookie evolved on FullTilt. It is now The Mookie/Dank, and will eventually become The Dank. Many thanks to BuddyDank, Joannda, and everyone else who has put forth their effort to keep this game going.

Anyhow, where was I, oh yes, low limit Stars 50/50 games. I doubt I spend more than 10 hours a month playing poker. I am a recreational player, but not one who does not study or pay attention.

Rather recently, I started playing some of the PokerStars 50/50 games, and all I can say, is that if you have a bit of knowledge of position, cards relative to position, and a fair conception of the math, you can do well.

More often than not, I am in the top two of these games. If you have a decent understanding of the game, do not want to spend hours and hours (hopefully) in a tourney or ring game, but want some experience, this may be a decent place to start.

I think I like this format better than the previous Double or Nothing. In the old format, as soon as 1/2 were gone you doubled up. Now, once 1/2 are gone, you recover your buy-in, and the rest is based on your stack. For me, that has always worked out to my benefit.

Who knows, maybe one day I may actually be a name of note at the Mookie/Dank!!

Miss you Noriko

At about 8:50 this morning, Nori passed away due to congenital heart failure. She started showing symptoms late Wednesday evening (heavy/difficulty breathing), so when she was still showing signs Thursday morning, I made an appointment at the vet for Friday morning at 9:30 am to see what we could do for her. Well she got worse Thursday night, so Elaine and I slept on the floor by her while she slept under the tree, which we kept lit for her.

She woke us up this morning around 6:00 am crying a cry I hadn’t heard from her before, so it was obvious things were not good. I left her with Elaine while I went to go put gas in the car, and to get the car at least a bit warm so it wouldn’t take too long later on. It was quite something. Yesterday I was thinking the vet trip would be to see if we could give here something to keep her comfortable and doing ok. By late last night, I was figuring I would have to be bringing her in to have her put to sleep. Early this morning, I found myself facing the fact that I would be having to say goodbye.

At around 8:45 I went out to start the car and get it warmed up. A bit earlier, I had set up the carrier, just the bottom half with a blanket in it so it would be easier to move her. At around 8:50 I picked her up and moved her to the carrier. When I picked her up she started crying again. I put her in the carrier and tucked her in. She stretched out and her breathing became quite shallow. I knew what was happening and I stroked her head as she passed.

Since she had to go, I’m glad that she passed at home. It did happen very quick, as of Tuesday she was ripping around the house and having a good old time on the TurboScratcher. In the early spring after the ground thaws her ashes will join Hashiimoto’s in the garden at the Zen Center. One of these days, I’ll be with them there too…